Proof of a government grammar conspiracy

I feel dirty just reading this convenience store bathroom sign. Unfortunately, posting this sign has been mandated by the state. If you find this sign, which is in many NY State foodservice store bathrooms, let me know, so I can track the grammar consipiracy. It starts as a declaration, turns into an imperative, and ends with a requirement for employees to wash their hands when MINE become dirty. For inefficient use of bailout funds, I award the state of NY the Mantlepiece of Infectious Sinkhole Expenditures.

The difference between F7 and good grammar

ONE: This subtitle makes me wonder what the conjugation of "to conservative" is. Meanwhile, back in Grammar Land, AKA reality, conservative is not a verb, so the governor can not seem "to conservative." TWO: What is the plural of others? Is it otherses or othersi? Again, lets go back to reality-land where you cannot have "too others." Now, imagine you're the editor of reality-land. You hit F7, the hotkey for MS Office Spellcheck, but didn't bother to turn on the GRAMMAR option along with the spelling option. Poof! You get this subtitle, just like magic. Therefore, for using spellcheck but not grammarcheck, I award the Scrolling Bar of Bad MS Office Hotkeys.

Defending your poor grammar rights

This photo and subtitle was taken from the front page of the Army Knowledge Online website, commonly referred to as AKO. This is the official portal into Army email and information management, and is thus seen by millions daily. The error is in line 6, when a comma is inserted after "Onboard are," without establishing a list. The comma is a rogue agent. With a simple refresh click and a new photo appeared with a fully detained rogue agent, but not before the grammar police had enough for a formal military tribunal. However, for having the courage to defend grammar disasters everywhere, I award the special Mayor's 9/11 Shroud of Courage, so the writer may shroud himself and his typo.

New bear breed discovered at local zoo

For those wondering about the new breed, it is the dangerous and elusive Grammar Bear. They are so dangerous when they give chase, the eventual victim is struck by a mighty run on sentence. If the writer inserted a semi-colon after "don't work," it would solve the problem. The write could have also made "The last resort is to FIGHT BACK" into its own sentence. Believe it or not, the "don't work" is correct, regardless of how clunky it sounds. I'd give some kind of award for this, but I'm afraid to anger the Grammar Bear and become his next victim.

Never taste your wares

This is a simple demonstration of the old adage about tasting your wares. The brochure advertising grapes and their associated products gets hit twice, meaning the graphic designer and the editor were, ahem, a little graped? Error 1: "Suppliments" should be "Supplements." Error 2: The paragraph is missing an "and" to make it a legit sentence, or even coherent thought. For college drunkeness while creating an informational flyer, I award the White Fiberglass Monocle of Carousing.